“Hello, my dear fellow dinosaur lovers. Dr. Bella Bricking and Beth Buildit here. For the past four years, it has been our privilege and pleasure to be your guides here on the Dinosaur Toy Blog for a journey through the world of prehistoric LEGO, from savage theropods to rugged marginocephalians to frozen megafauna. But now–“
“Hold on, Doc, are you announcing our retirement?!”
“Goodness me, of course not, Beth! What I was about to say was that we are now about to embark on our greatest adventure yet! Welcome to Jurassic Park, or more specifically, Jurassic Park: T. rex Rampage!“
“. . . 3120 pieces. Billions of blue blistering bricks in a thundering throw rug!”
“As I said, our greatest adventure yet! Come, let us unpack this enormous box!”
“Doc, there are thirty bags in this box, plus a bunch of base plates and two instruction books with more than 200 pages each! We’re in way over our heads here!”
“Bite your tongue, my dear Beth! We will do precisely what is done in the process of completing any LEGO set: take it on one step at a time. Now help me find the first bag, please. We’re going to begin assembling the Tyrannosaurus rex!”
“Okay, Doc. Let’s do it.”
“That’s the spirit, Beth. Look at how well this torso is coming along.”
“And look at the little gag piece the designers of this set tossed in, Doc: a frog. It’s not the least bit necessary; it simply rests inside the dinosaur’s body cavity, but it’s a clever reference to the frog DNA that was mentioned in both the JP novel and the film.”
“Correct, Beth, although if you recall the specifics of the novel, T. rex was not among the dinosaurs that included frog DNA.”
“Whew! That’s the main body just about done, Doc!”
“Bully, Beth, just bully! Four bags down, twenty-five more to go!”
*Sigh* “Cue the montage then.”
“There now, that’s the last piece, Beth. Let us review the fruits of our labour. We have the main body . . . “
“. . . the hind limbs . . .”
“. . . the tail . . .”
“. . . and finally, the head! Now all we need to do is join together these components.”
“Yeeeeeeeeeah, I’ve been wondering about that, Doc. How exactly do two minifigures like us pull that off?”
“Why, just like in cartoons and films, Beth: offscreen, of course!”
“Ah. That was pretty easy, Doc! And holy dancing dervish Duplos, just look at the freaking size of this dino! It’s huge! It’s colossal! It’s ginormous!”
“Your observation is 100% correct, my dear Beth. This Tyrannosaurus rex stands just over 21 cm tall at the hips and, with its tail straightened, measures a staggering 69 cm long! It easily dwarfs all the other prehistoric figures we have reviewed here on the DTB.”
“Not to mention the brick-built ones, Doc! Good ol’ Rexy here is the biggest dinosaur LEGO’s ever made, hands down, even bigger than the old Creator set that came out way back in 2004! You’re gonna need a lot of space to display this sucker!”
“Yes, or simply have a knack for arranging one’s collection very strategically, Beth. Now, as you already mentioned, this individual is meant to represent Rexy, the iconic mascot of the entire JP franchise. She is comprised mainly of beige, medium brown, and dark brown bricks. She also features dark grey feet, black claws, and light grey parts on her arms and tail. Her blazing eyes are yellow with black pupils, her teeth are white, and her mouth is dark red with a bright red tongue. Note how well the medium and dark brown sections alternate in order to form a stripe pattern along Rexy’s back.”
“Rexy scores pretty well on accuracy, Doc. Okay, her arms and feet are clearly oversized, and she’s got way less teeth than the real deal, and that long, skinny, movable tongue probably isn’t right either, but still, nobody would ever mistake her for anything other than a T. rex.”
“Moreover, Beth, Rexy features both forward-facing eyes and hands that can be posed correctly, as seen in these images. That makes her the most scientifically accurate LEGO T. rex of them all!”
“And also take note of how poseable this gal is, Doc. Her mouth opens nice and wide, her tongue can wiggle, her head rotates from side to side, her neck can raise and lower, her shoulders and elbows are ball-jointed, her fingers are hinged, her legs rotate at the hips, her toes can spread wide apart, and her tail is jointed in ten places! Definitely the most poseable LEGO product we’ve ever reviewed!”
“Yes, and despite her many joints, Beth, Rexy is quite, quite stable. She can be posed in a horizontal stance, rear up tall, or tilt her head and body low to the ground. None of her parts are prone to coming off easily either. That said, care is absolutely necessary when handling her, especially given that she is considerably heavy. A fall onto bare flooring would surely result in a mess of scattered bricks, not to mention the potential for personal injury. Everyone is well aware that LEGO and feet make for a painful combination!”
“Yeah, this definitely isn’t a LEGO set for little kids, Doc. The box recommends it for ages 16 and up. Naturally, that’s not set in stone, but personally, I wouldn’t recommend this to anybody under the age of say, 13 or 12 at the youngest. And then there’s the price tag. This set retails for a whopping $299.99 Canadian—although don’t forget there’s much more to it than just Rexy! You’ve got to really be into LEGO or dinosaurs or both to justify buying a set like this. Not to mention be really good for goodness sake if you’re wanting someone to shove this under the Xmas tree for you!”
“Agreed on all counts. But at the same time, I believe that this set is worth every dime. A truly satisfying build that results in a dynamic and fun creation. It truly is a testament to what can be done with LEGO given enough bricks and imagination. Jurassic Park: T. rex Rampage is currently available for purchase online at LEGO.com or in your local LEGO store location. And now, Beth, it is high time for us to begin building the rest of this set!”
“Whoa, whoa, hold up there, Doc! This Buildit is burnt out! Besides, hasn’t this review gone on long enough already! It’s already the longest one we’ve ever done!”
“Hmmm, come to think of it, I am feeling a little fatigued myself, Beth. Very well, we shall make this our first two-part review. We will return here soon to complete the second build, as well as celebrate the holiday season. Until then, fellow dinosaur lovers, we bid you a fond farewell!”
“See you all again soon, folks! C’mon, Rexy, let’s go find you some nice big Duplo blocks to chomp on!”
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This was very hilarious. I like things like this.
What a cute review! It’s nice to read something out of the ordinary once in a while.
Thanks! Hope you enjoy Part 2 (coming very soon!).