Forum etiquette

[Sarapaurolophus]

It is still a very personal question

Said the one who wants age statements to be mandatory
People can lie about their personal infos on the internet, just as a reminder. Making any info mandatory won't stop people from just crafting an online persona. We all have to assume people are acting in good faith but you'll never know for certain.

That'll be my only contribution in this heated thread

[Newt]

You're not hated here, ? @Stolpergeist. You're a valued part of the community.

[Halichoeres]

I dearly hope nobody has called you any of those things around here. Even if just in a PM, that would certainly be grounds for a ban. From what I have seen, you are not hated here. I can assure you at least that I do not.

[Stegotyranno420]

Yeah I get it I'm a gross sick freakish abomination, I shouldn't be alive, I should be illegalized, I should be killed on the street for being a gross freak and everyone should know what genitals I have.
Because in the end I am also just a fake persona.
My ID states that I am male, is that what you want to know?
I'm legally male.
I'm a gross disgusting freak.
I should be shot.
I hope the overdose I took in October will give me cancer sometime.

Calm down, he/she just asked you about something and was giving random examples, none directed at you. Also, I know what 2 spirited means, it means when a masculine person also has a feminine spirit, or vice versa, in many Native American tribes. So no, I'm not a young ignoramus. When I asked you how is it religious, I was talking about deep, flameful discussions, not religious ideals. How is it uncalled for and religious if I say something like that I never cut my hair, I only eat jatka meat, I wear a turban, I go to Gurdwaras (not during pandemic). How is that inappropriate or controversial.

P.S: please, don't get depressed again

[Shonisaurus]

? @Stolpergeist You have my support for everything you need. Each one must love himself and in your case no one has the right to offend you either inside or outside the forum. If I can be of help to you in the DTF you have me and what I tell you in the face of criticism, throw it on your back, it is not worth feeling offended by the disqualifications and insults of others. What has been said you must pass from toxic people "Olympically" is a friend's advice.

[postsaurischian]

Yeah I get it I'm a gross sick freakish abomination, I shouldn't be alive, I should be illegalized, I should be killed on the street for being a gross freak and everyone should know what genitals I have.
Because in the end I am also just a fake persona.
My ID states that I am male, is that what you want to know?
I'm legally male.
I'm a gross disgusting freak.
I should be shot.
I hope the overdose I took in October will give me cancer sometime.

I get the feeling you're hating yourself since you are the only person here who has ever described yourself like that.
No one else would do that here, for sure, I'd be among the first members to get him or her (or whatever) banned!

I hope the overdose I took in October will give me cancer sometime.

I'm working as a male nurse (is that a strange English word?) on an oncologic station and very often it's more of a hard fight than a job you just do.
Believe me, you have no idea. What you're writing here is rubbish and I bet you know it because I have come to know you as quite an intelligent person.

I see that you're in deep trouble with your self esteem and it might be good to get professional help.
There's nothing to be ashamed of. Depression is a desease just as tough as cancer is and you can hardly fight against it without knowledge.

---------------------------------

Sorry, I normally do not send comments like this, but following this thread throughout the last two days made me want to come to an end with this. 1. because the topic is getting to serious for a hobby toy forum and 2. as I wrote before, I'm getting worried that a discussion between psychology amateurs won't solve the problem but rather compound it.

[DinoToyForum]

? @Stolpergeist I'm not sure how to respond, neither I nor the moderators or any members are qualified. So I'll be as sensitive as I can whilst also being honest.

While we take such things very seriously, we cannot take responsibility for anyone else's life-threatening behaviour, and could risk making situations worse if we do respond. Instead, we urge anyone in this situation to contact qualified emergency personnel immediately. In the United States, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255, or the National Hopeline Network: 1.800.784-2433, or call 911 for local emergency services.

I'm going to introduce a new rule going forward regarding crisis situations: "Threats of suicide and/or self-harm will not be allowed on the forum and will be removed." Posts that are personal attacks on oneself are essentially still personal attacks, and this is already covered by forum rule 1, so I will also amend that rule accordingly for clarity. Thank you for your understanding.

@Stegotyranno I'm sure you mean well but I think your posts are not helping. So, let's follow @postsaurischian's wise lead. This is a Dinosaur Toy Forum after all, so I kindly request that we no longer continue this discussion, and get back to the passion we all love, no matter how we identify in other ways. That includes not responding to this post, which is for information only, not discussion. Thanks! 

[Stegotyranno420]

You are right @dinotoyforum we should even be talking about this kind of negative material. Why was this even a thing in the first place. everyone is just pissed now. 2 peopel got banned, 1 quit, 1 is attempting to take their own life, and many are being warned. How did we even get to this state?

P.S: Also can you p.m. me on how my posts are giving a negative affect and what was wrong with them specifcally. I want to understand how to talk in different situations besides a dinosaur- hobby dedicated area. Thanks Dr. Admin

[DinoToyForum]

I asked you not to respond. I'm banning @Stegotyranno from posting for 7 days for violating rule 4. Respect ... moderator requests.

[Bread]

Not sure if this is the right place for this question. I thought about making a thread, but some could say it could belong to the "Forum Etiquette" thread.

How do you feel when newer members insert themselves into conversations? Of course these conversations are on topic and relate to the thread, and are positive. Meaning they never consist of negative attitude towards an individual or others.

I myself am always worried about inserting a post mid conversation of other members. I may have questions or state my own opinion, but I feel bad if it seems out of place or is rather just a question. I am never too worried/afraid to comment what I want (of course following the rules of the forum and staying on topic), but I do tend to second guess myself before I insert a post.
Also, some tips on how others and myself can insert one's self into the conversation. Thank you!

Edit: I tried my best to word it carefully. Sorry if it is confusing.

[BlueKrono]

It's a forum format. I would argue it's appropriate to either respond to someone else or to comment a new thought on the topic of the thread. Sometimes I see people responding to something several pages back. It's just part of this mode of conversing, and there's nothing wrong with that.

[PhilSauria]

I have to say that I have been a bit disappointed in the Forum lately.

Don't really enjoy having to scroll through page after page of heated exchanges in search of news, images or helpful discussions and information about new Paleo figure releases or fossil discoveries.

As someone who actively tries to avoid the wave of conflict, confrontation and mean-spirited baiting and general nasty behaviour towards others that the anonymity of the online environment seems to enable, seeing the proliferation of it in such quantity and for such a prolonged period in post after post here is not my idea of fun.

Think I'll be taking a break for a while and checking out a few blogs and YouTube channels for the type of content and news I initially joined up here in search of.

[Flaffy]

Don't really enjoy having to scroll through page after page of heated exchanges in search of news, images or helpful discussions and information about new Paleo figure releases or fossil discoveries.

I wish there was a way to mute specific threads. I came to the Dinosaur Toy Forum for toy dinosaurs and other related topics, not drama.

[Shonisaurus]

Don't really enjoy having to scroll through page after page of heated exchanges in search of news, images or helpful discussions and information about new Paleo figure releases or fossil discoveries.

I wish there was a way to mute specific threads. I came to the Dinosaur Toy Forum for toy dinosaurs and other related topics, not drama.

I agree with you, this forum should be a forum for recreation and fun, and especially for the hobby of collecting dinosaur toys. Honestly, it shouldn't be a place where people argue or fight over minor issues.

The forum should be intended for constructive purposes and to comment on prehistoric animals and dinosaurs should not be intended for personal attacks or discussions. Completely agree with you.

[Bread]

It's a forum format. I would argue it's appropriate to either respond to someone else or to comment a new thought on the topic of the thread. Sometimes I see people responding to something several pages back. It's just part of this mode of conversing, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Thank you for the information. This is actually my first time being a member on a forum. I am still relatively new to this and it sometimes can be difficult inserting myself into open conversations. 

[ceratopsian]

Have courage and join in.  It was my first forum too. 

It's a forum format. I would argue it's appropriate to either respond to someone else or to comment a new thought on the topic of the thread. Sometimes I see people responding to something several pages back. It's just part of this mode of conversing, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Thank you for the information. This is actually my first time being a member on a forum. I am still relatively new to this and it sometimes can be difficult inserting myself into open conversations.

[Newt]

As someone who's belonged to a number of different internet forums over the last couple of decades (gosh, but I'm getting old!), I have to say this forum is extremely well-moderated and by and large has a friendlier, more welcoming atmosphere than all but a few I've visited. Occasional flare-ups like we've been having lately are something that happens on every forum, and shouldn't be taken as a sign of the forum going to pot unless they become a chronic condition. Besides, what passes for "heated argument" on this forum is pretty mild. I think we've become spoiled by the typical congeniality we find here.


@dinotoyforum and the rest of the administrative team have been putting out these fires promptly, gently, and in my opinion fairly. I for one would like to express my appreciation to them for what is usually a thankless task.


To any others who are considering leaving, I wish you would reconsider. For one, where are you going to go that will be better? The big social media sites are incredibly toxic, and many other specialized forums (at least the ones I used to frequent) have become desolate wastelands. This is a good place, my favorite place to spend time on the internet, and it won't remain so if too many of us leave, especially if it's the less confrontational members who are fleeing.

[DinoToyForum]

Not sure if this is the right place for this question. I thought about making a thread, but some could say it could belong to the "Forum Etiquette" thread.

How do you feel when newer members insert themselves into conversations? Of course these conversations are on topic and relate to the thread, and are positive. Meaning they never consist of negative attitude towards an individual or others.

I myself am always worried about inserting a post mid conversation of other members. I may have questions or state my own opinion, but I feel bad if it seems out of place or is rather just a question. I am never too worried/afraid to comment what I want (of course following the rules of the forum and staying on topic), but I do tend to second guess myself before I insert a post.
Also, some tips on how others and myself can insert one's self into the conversation. Thank you!

Edit: I tried my best to word it carefully. Sorry if it is confusing.

Don't overthink it If you have something to say, feel free to say it. The only rules are, well, the rules!
-
I feel like there's been a bit of a slow creep on the forum in the last few months towards posts that edge up to the rules, but don't actually beak them.

Things like this are what I have in mind (all paraphrased):

"It's just my opinion, if you can't handle that then maybe you should stop posting"
"Maybe you should educate yourself on so-n-so topic!"
"That company's figures are absolute crap and should all be destroyed"
"This company is what would happen if it was run by a toddler"
"Why can't you get that through your head?"
"Maybe you could actually try thinking for yourself "
"Your brand loyalty defies common sense and reason"
"Sure, nobody is as wonderfully intelligent or knowledgeable as you are, I'm no match for your intellect (/sarcasm)".
"If you don't like it, how about don't buy it instead of moaning about it?"

That's when it gets tricky to moderate. I'd never say anything like this on the forum or in real life, but I see posts like it all the time. The trouble is rudeness is subjective, and intentions are impossible to determine. If the moderators act too soon we'll be accused of overreacting, having 'thin skin', censoring opinions, and risk stifling discussion or debate. But if we act too late or leniently things snowball out of control. Statements like the above can be interpreted as personal attacks, or rudeness, or provocations, but are phrased in a way that leaves some wiggle room. I think the phrase that best captures this behaviour is "mean spirited". Or, "unkind". There's no rule against being mean spirited because it would surely be impossible to enforce. It would be futile for moderators to debate the intention behind each and every post on the forum to ensure only "kind-spirited" posts are allowed.

My rule of thumb has always been to let 'mean-spirited' (in my opinion) posts pass, in the interests of freedom of speech, unless they clearly and unquestionably break a rule. So, the question becomes what is more important:

1. That the forum is a friendly place where mean-spirited posts like the above are censored at the discretion of the moderators, risking toys being thrown out of the pram and a greater burden of work and potentially anguish for the moderators.

or

2. That the forum is a place where the freedom to say what you want is paramount as long as it stays within the existing rules.

My thoughts are evolving on this, but I assure everyone that my objective is for this forum to be a friendly place where everyone is free to express their opinion. Perhaps that is a pipe dream. In the meantime I will be less lenient going forward with regard to posts I perceive as rude.

[Ravonium]

Not sure if this is the right place for this question. I thought about making a thread, but some could say it could belong to the "Forum Etiquette" thread.

How do you feel when newer members insert themselves into conversations? Of course these conversations are on topic and relate to the thread, and are positive. Meaning they never consist of negative attitude towards an individual or others.

I myself am always worried about inserting a post mid conversation of other members. I may have questions or state my own opinion, but I feel bad if it seems out of place or is rather just a question. I am never too worried/afraid to comment what I want (of course following the rules of the forum and staying on topic), but I do tend to second guess myself before I insert a post.
Also, some tips on how others and myself can insert one's self into the conversation. Thank you!

Edit: I tried my best to word it carefully. Sorry if it is confusing.

Haven't been a new member for a while now, but when I was, unless it was irrelevant to the topic of discussion, I got the impression that it is generally fine to do this (although I wouldn't assume anything if they decide not to reply to whatever you said)

Also, don't worry too much about it; I still sometimes decide last minute not to contribute to discussions here (including a few that have recently taken place on this thread), and I wouldn't be surprised if this happens to other longer-established members as well

[DinoToyForum]

I have to say that I have been a bit disappointed in the Forum lately.

Don't really enjoy having to scroll through page after page of heated exchanges in search of news, images or helpful discussions and information about new Paleo figure releases or fossil discoveries.

As someone who actively tries to avoid the wave of conflict, confrontation and mean-spirited baiting and general nasty behaviour towards others that the anonymity of the online environment seems to enable, seeing the proliferation of it in such quantity and for such a prolonged period in post after post here is not my idea of fun.

Think I'll be taking a break for a while and checking out a few blogs and YouTube channels for the type of content and news I initially joined up here in search of.

I agree @PhilSauria and we are taking action to rectify this. I'm not willing to sacrifice kind members to accommodate mean-spirited ones!