Corrupt a wish

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but the prices of all other non JP/JW dinosaur toys are raised ridiculously high, no matter how common or cheap they were before.

I wish I could remove the individual parts of my face and rearrange them to freak people out.

[MLMjp]

Granted, but because you freak people out nobody wants to be near or close to you.

I wish I had the power to stop time.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but you stop as well.

I wish for the "Prehistoric Animal A-Z Game" to be deleted from the forum.

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but it is replaced by a game in which all members are forced to answer extremely specific questions about aeroplane maintenance, and if they fail to answer correctly they must be deleted permanently from the forum.

I wish I could switch off my ability to procrastinate.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but instead you turn on your ability to immediately hibernate.

I wish the ATF had more (non-bot) members.

[Ravonium]

Granted, but they all come from 4chan, making the ATF a complete cesspool.

I wish people would stop using '1 in x' to make percentages sound more significant than they are.

[Halichoeres]

Granted but they all interpret a 70% probability as "virtually certain."

I wish airplanes were powered by the fast-food flatus of passengers that have eaten McDonald's in the terminal.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted. Planes start dropping all over the globe.

I wish to get one of each of NECA's Godzilla figures for free with no defects.

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but in a comical moment of slapstick misfortune, you stumble and fall while carrying them and they are all flung directly into a furnace that you just happened to be walking past. In a moment of irrational desperation, you reach to grab them but the heat is so intense that they are all fused to the end of your arm, leaving you with an amorphous lump of plastic instead of a hand, with random Godzilla limbs jutting out as a sorry substitute for fingers.

I wish my eyes didn't hurt after looking at a computer screen for too long.

[Halichoeres]

Granted. Your eyes sustain damage, but you don't feel any pain, so they degenerate without you noticing. Within two years you are almost completely blind.

I wish I could produce and launch caltrops from my wrist, like Spider-Man's webs, to ruin the tires of cars with ill-behaved drivers.

[Ravonium]

Granted, but this causes your town to become the worst in the world for traffic jams (which you have to get stuck in), resulting in you doing it to your own car out of resentment for what you did (which repeats this cycle until you die of high blood pressure induced by your stress).


I wish I didn't get trigemial neuralgia from walking outdoors in cold weather for long enough.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but this causes your town to become the worst in the world for traffic jams (which you have to get stuck in), resulting in you doing it to your own car out of resentment for what you did (which repeats this cycle until you die of high blood pressure induced by your stress).

Joke's on you, I don't own a car. I'll just weave my way through the parked cars on foot, or on my bicycle, secure in the knowledge that they can't move fast enough to harm me.

I wish I didn't get trigemial neuralgia from walking outdoors in cold weather for long enough.

Granted, you grow a thick, bushy mop of hair all over your face, and you end up looking like a sheepdog. You frequently trip on obstacles that others would easily have avoided.

I wish for neverending ice cream.

[Ravonium]

Joke's on you, I don't own a car. I'll just weave my way through the parked cars on foot, or on my bicycle, secure in the knowledge that they can't move fast enough to harm me.

I wish for neverending ice cream.

Granted, but the machine it comes out of isn't never-ending, and breaks within a day of use.

[Halichoeres]

A wish is required!

[Ravonium]

I wish I didn't miss out making a wish on my last post.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but you don't get to corrupt other people's wishes.

I wish to get one of each of NECA's Godzilla figures for free with no defects, with no slapstick-related furnace incidents.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but everyone else on earth also gets a free copy, and it feels less special. Also, NECA goes out of business because it turns out giving away billions of free toys is a bad business model.

I wish counting fish in streams were as easy as counting trees in a forest.

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but it requires that all fish in a given stream must die and float to the surface, resulting in a mass extinction event.

I wish I never had to worry about anything ever again.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, the illusion of free will is stripped from you, and you watch wistfully, forlornly as the things that would have happened anyway happen. You can no longer summon outrage or concern, and your friends and family grow distant as they find you harder to relate to. When you eventually die, at an advanced age, nobody is much perturbed, even you.

I wish to be cheerful.

[Ravonium]

Granted, but you revert back to your usual state immediately afterwards.

I wish for nothing.