Corrupt a wish

[Halichoeres]

Granted, you are entropy embodied and you preside over the heat death of the universe.

I wish I had fangs.

[Shonisaurus]

Granted but you would become Dracula and you could not see the sunlight.

I wish it was not so hot this year, and that the climate in my country would calm down.

[Ravonium]

Granted, but this means the British tourists don't come...OK, that's ultimately for the best, but it still means the Spanish economy will begin to tank a little.

I wish there were no such things as regional spellings of words.

[Gothmog the Baryonyx]

I don't want to corrupt that because I'm in complete agreement, however, granted, but every word in every language now has ten different spellings depending on the time of day, the weather, your feelings and whether there are any pigeons in proximity.

I wish people would stop having irrational hatred for Maiasaura.

[Shonisaurus]

Granted nobody will hate the maiasaura. It will love the maiasaura but it will cause that the human beings on all the children are weak of character and blandenges causing hypersensitive people who would die of pain before a minimum family, personal or labor misfortune.

I wish with a snap of a finger without having to spend any money on travel and any displacement and with summer clothes and without cooling down living in Antarctica and being served the penguins food and not having to cook.

[CityRaptor]

Granted, but you become a penguin yourself.

I wish people would stop having irrational hatred for Maiasaura.

People hate Maisaura?

I wish I had a SDCC 2019 John Hammond.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but you pay an outrageous fortune for it, and then it is re-released in all stores, completely unaltered, even the packaging. The SDCC figure is now worth $8.

I wish there had never been any Jurassic Park sequels.

[Shonisaurus]

Granted there will be no sequel to Jurassic Park but there will be a sequel to Jurassic World worse than JP's.

I wish that King Kong and the creatures of Skull Island would be resurrected among the dead.

[CityRaptor]

Granted, but the world is now overrun with giant zombie animals.

I wish for a Kaiju to deal with all those zombie animals!

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted but it's the 1998 'Zilla' and he just runs away and hides in a sewer. 

I wish I could live in a cottage in the woods with my wife and three baby owls who would be like the children we never had, and we would all practice Alchemical experiments together.

[CityRaptor]

Granted, but you and your wife blow themselves up in those experiments, and the owls try to bring you back. Which also does not go too well, as the one named Ed loses a wing and a leg, having to rely on prosthetics. The one named Al loses his complete body, becoming an animated suit of armor instead...while the third owl, Minerva, is just fine. And so begins the story of Full Metal Owlchemist!

I wish there was a guarantee that there were no more Toy Story and Cars movies.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Wish granted, but you are like all of those things because you have been split into multiple pocket dimensions and become those things.

On the topic of pocket dimensions, I wish I could escape the one i'm trapped in right now.

[CityRaptor]

Granted, but you escape thanks to a mysterious, self-driving car. The car tells you to open the glove compartment and as you do, you are attacked by a cowboy doll with a knife, singing this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhFAS52SQ-o

I wish international shipping costs weren't that ridicolously high!

[Shonisaurus]

Granted international shipping costs will not be excessively high but will double the figures of collection and toy of prehistoric animals and other products so they would cost with international shipping twice the amount of money that before.

I wish the platypus did not have poisonous spines.

[The Atroxious]

Granted. Now it has a mouthful of sharp keratinous ridges, and a particular fondness for human flesh.

I wish I was the liason between humans and the secret society of vampires.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but you are killed by the vampires.

I wish for doctor zaius

[Gothmog the Baryonyx]

Granted, but its the Simpsons version.

I wish someone could find a whole Spinosaurus specimen so we can stop all the annoying JP-Spino fan boys from using uncertainty to fuel their boring repetitive 'arguments'.

Granted, but you become a penguin yourself.

I wish people would stop having irrational hatred for Maiasaura.

People hate Maisaura?

I wish I had a SDCC 2019 John Hammond.

Youtube and facebook I'm afraid.

[Ravonium]

Youtube and facebook I'm afraid.

Why am I not surprised that parts of the wider palaeo-community are pathetic enough to hate on what is a fairly pedestrian creature?


Anyways, granted, but within a few minutes of discovery, Spinosaurus loses ~95% of its fans, as it ends up looking exactly like the hypothesised skeleton of Spinofaarus.



I wish the final component of my diorama supplies arrived today.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but it was so mishandled during shipment that the supplies are now ruined. You have to order them over again.

I wish I could see through an arbitrary amount of water regardless of turbidity.

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but it means you have to replace your natural eyes with robotic ones that are indistinguishable from the originals, but the eyes develop their own artificial intelligence and begin to maneuver themselves into the most inappropriate positions at the worst possible times, in order to cause you as much embarrassment as possible because they just don't like you.

I wish that a newborn human was a just a tiny but fully developed adult, that would simply grow to full size after a year and would then proceed to live for as many years as they would have lived had they gone through childhood in the normal fashion, meaning that henceforth children and teenagers will no longer exist.