Worst dinosaur toy

[Reuben03]

that dimetrodon is gorgeous!!!! one of the best

Hands are bigger than the head

HAHA ik ikkk but loook
the face ahh
so so cute i wanna put a little collar on it and give it bellyrubs

[Mellow Stego]

Behold!
Yeah, so these things came in a blind bag and was market as "educational"
I'm not sure what it's supposed to teach though, maybe the effects of nuclear war is bad?

[SidB]

That's quite a paint job on the Spino's teeth - I won't speculate as to the state of the person applying it.

[Gothmog the Baryonyx]

I'm surprised to see that's a Kosmoceratops too, who knew someone would make a cheap Kosmoceratops

[Libraraptor]

Jesus,  those are ugly!   Probably the poor persons who had to paint this special waste in far east meanwhile look exactly like the things they had been painting.

[Duna]

Oh my, those make the worst figures by far ... by a lot far ... 

[Kapitaenosavrvs]

Behold!
Yeah, so these things came in a blind bag and was market as "educational"
I'm not sure what it's supposed to teach though, maybe the effects of nuclear war is bad?

:D :D Oh Wow. They clearly are from Toxic Avenger, hehe.

@Duna That Dimetrodon. What a nice Sailfrog.

[need4swede]

This ptero-bird-man thing.

Most of these are just plain funny - but this thing is outright terrifying.
I don't know what this Ptero-primate thing is, or what sort of message it's trying to make in regards to evolution, but I want nothing to do with it.

[tinyvinyldinos]

Oh, hee hee. This one, hehe...

Spoiler

Teehee

[close]

Oh, hehe, this one, am I right?

Spoiler

Oh, hoh, ha!!!

[close]

Oh, hahahaha, how about this one, amirite???

Spoiler

But, seriously, it's the

[close]

If that middle one is the one I think it is (the singing one with real lip-sync action), someone actually tried to give that to me as a kid. Turns out it has a hair trigger even in the box and a very, very long battery life. Dad sneakily re-wrapped the gift with the safari taneystropheus, and took it out back and shot it.

Sadly, mom did not let him mount its head on the wall afterwards. Something about being damaging to the fragile mental health of children?

[tinyvinyldinos]

What about this one?

Almost reluctantly, I recently gave my old Schleich replicasaurus Ceratosaurus away to a youngster, along with other golden oldies. This one is so crude and homely, I'll say, that it achieves an almost mythical status in that department, IMO. As such, it's a classic, in my estimation.

I feel like it's very important to note that as a small child, I named this monstrosity hamburger. I think I even still have Hamburger.

[tinyvinyldinos]

Sadly, I was unable to find Hamburger (he may be in a moving box somewhere, though I thought I packed everyone up in the same box). I will brave the storage unit at a later date, so in the meantime, the cream of the creepy from my collection!

Jurassic Park 3 Velociraptor (childhood name: Cruncher)

His teeth and claws indicate massive amounts of chainsmoking, plus he doesn't stand up on his own very well. Also, his paint job looks like he escaped a fajita. Please ignore the teethmarks on his tail, he's survived three cats but they all love him very much.

Plesiosaur From Witness Protection (childhood name: Shelly)

I actually have always been fond of this girl, but her haunted stare is just goofy. It probably says something about my impact on the adults in my life that she tended to play the part of the straight man/responsible adult in my dino dramas.

Evil Pachycephalosaurus (childhood name: Melkor)


This guy's name is my dad's fault, firstly. Secondly, it may not come as a surprise that this one was always cast at a villain. Just look at him. His beady red eyes. His monotone gray paint scheme. The cat-induced injuries. If I ever get a house and a shelf for my collection, this guy's facing the wall.

Surinam Pterodactyl (childhood name: Flypp)

His disturbing flatness leaves me questioning his general health. Living creatures should generally not be two-dimensional! Also, his flat taupe coloration is not exactly in vogue. His menacing look also vexes me.

Eraserhead Baby: Green (childhood name: Jacob)

I actually don't remember where this one came from. I generally remember the time and place I got my guys from, if not necessarily their brand names, but this guy just showed up. Despite my K&M minis incredible attrition rate, he's managed to survive three moves and my childhood. I can only assume he manifested, fully formed, out of some toxic waste dump from the center of my bedroom (an entirely plausible occurrence, if you ask my mom).

Little Green Man (wasn't worth naming)

Where do I even start with this one? Still has the faint odor of burnt rubber after nearly two decades. Weird hollow center. Constantly screaming. I have kept him but not of my own free will.

The real award, however, belongs to these folks my dad found during move #3 and didn't want to take out of the country.

That ankylosaurus knows something and I am so, so scared to find out what it is.

[CityRaptor]

Is there supposed to be a pic?

[Fembrogon]

Behold!
Yeah, so these things came in a blind bag and was market as "educational"
I'm not sure what it's supposed to teach though, maybe the effects of nuclear war is bad?

Those are really something.
The general style of these reminds me of the Mega Bloks Plasma Dinos series; it looks like someone kitbashed the Plasma molds into new genera and referenced other toys for the results (the Spino head reminds me of the old Procon figure).
They're pretty gross results, though. The Plasma Dinos weren't exactly pretty to start with, but WOW, this is some awful paint application.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Probably the schleich 2014 Velociraptor

[Mattyonyx]

This ptero-bird-man thing.

Most of these are just plain funny - but this thing is outright terrifying.
I don't know what this Ptero-primate thing is, or what sort of message it's trying to make in regards to evolution, but I want nothing to do with it.

I remember this one! It comes from a 90's toyline of monster and human toys, with detachable parts to create different combinations. as a kid, I wanted the other prehistoric-themed toy you can see below.

[Gwangi]

The real award, however, belongs to these folks my dad found during move #3 and didn't want to take out of the country.

That ankylosaurus knows something and I am so, so scared to find out what it is.

These Marx (and MPC) toys have no place in this thread. These were literally the first dinosaur toys ever made. They're from the 1950's and directly based on the paleo-art of their time from artists like Rudolph Zallinger, Charles Knight, and Zdenek Burian. They are far from the worst dinosaur toys ever made, during their time they were the best!

[Reuben03]

These Marx (and MPC) toys have no place in this thread. These were literally the first dinosaur toys ever made. They're from the 1950's and directly based on the paleo-art of their time from artists like Rudolph Zallinger, Charles Knight, and Zdenek Burian. They are far from the worst dinosaur toys ever made, during their time they were the best!

yes!!

[Crackington]

These Marx (and MPC) toys have no place in this thread. These were literally the first dinosaur toys ever made. They're from the 1950's and directly based on the paleo-art of their time from artists like Rudolph Zallinger, Charles Knight, and Zdenek Burian. They are far from the worst dinosaur toys ever made, during their time they were the best!

yes!!

And if you really think they're bad, there's plenty on here who'll take them off your hands 

[Gwangi]

These Marx (and MPC) toys have no place in this thread. These were literally the first dinosaur toys ever made. They're from the 1950's and directly based on the paleo-art of their time from artists like Rudolph Zallinger, Charles Knight, and Zdenek Burian. They are far from the worst dinosaur toys ever made, during their time they were the best!

yes!!

And if you really think they're bad, there's plenty on here who'll take them off your hands 

Haha, this is also true!

[SidB]

Really helpful to maintain historical context in making our assessments of objective versus subjective worth. I don't collect these figures, probably because of a lack of emotional connection, BUT there's no way to dismiss their objective foundational value for what followed in their footsteps, so to speak. We owe the creators of these early dinosaurs our respect and gratitude.