SAURUS VS THERIUM! WHO WILL WIN?

[suspsy]

Thomas Holtz posted this on his Facebook page. Thought it might be fun to do here, so here's his copied and pasted post:

Inspired by Godzilla vs Kong, and in the finest traditions (**cough, hack, spit**) of CarnivoraForum, it's time to play:
-SAURUS vs -THERIUM!!!!
Pick to genera that use the same root name element and the respective endings, and explain which would win.
Junior synonyms acceptable, because if we didn't use one of Megacerops' other names we wouldn't see Brontosaurus handing Brothotherium its ass...
Sometimes they might be evenly matched (Scelidosaurus vs. Scelidotherium). Sometimes it might be one-sided (much as I love Ceratosaurus, Ceratotherium is a pretty damn tough opponent). Sometimes the environment makes all the difference: do Elasmotherium and Elasmosaurus fight on the steppes of Eurasia or the oceans of Kansas?
NOTE: only actually same etymological origins apply. Ancylotherium is the "hooked beast", so isn't a valid opponent fo the "fused lizard" Ankylosaurus.
NOTE: if you insist, you can use -suchus, -odon, and -erpeton names... (Yeah, Smilosuchus vs. Smilodon is a nasty fight). (I am assuming it is the same "smil-" in both...)
NOTE: if you aren't bloody-minded, you can make the competition in some different format. So Anchitherium can leave Anchisaurus in the dust in a race.
Now, choose your opponents!

I'll go with Stegosaurus . . .


. . . vs Stegotetrabelodon!


After the elephant's bellows fail to drive off the stegosaur, it proceeds to charge. The Stegosaurus braces itself, swings its spiky tail, and inflicts a deep wound on the Stegotetrabelodon's flank, which causes it to stumble and trumpet in pain. The Stegosaurus inflicts another wound on its opponent's shoulder, but now the big elephant is truly angry. It drives its four tusks into the thyreophoran's body, piercing the skin and causing it to fall onto its side with a resounding thud. As the Stegosaurus flails weakly, the Stegotetrabelodon proceeds to gore and trample it without mercy. The roofed four tusk pachyderm kills the roofed lizard.

[Stegotyranno420]

It's always the stegosaurus that people make lose ...even when it's clearly in the favor

Anyways
Deinosuchus vs Deinotherium
Deinosuchus wins by grabbing the trunk, tearing it off and slams the deinothwre into the ground

[indohyus]

It's always the stegosaurus that people make lose ...even when it's clearly in the favor

Anyways
Deinosuchus vs Deinotherium
Deinosuchus wins by grabbing the trunk, tearing it off and slams the deinothwre into the ground

To be fair, Stegosaurus can only attack from the rear and is far less intelligent. Think Dinosauchus would still struggle a bit with a full grown Deinotherium.  It didn't have as long a trunk either.

I will put Megatherium vs Megalosaurus. Going with the strength, claws and defensive ability of Megatherium here.

[Lanthanotus]

I`ll go with Tyrannotitan vs Tyrannosaurus and set my bets on the titan for its supposed higher speed and maneuverability, slashing
at the tyrant king`s legs and bleeding it out while avoiding tis crunching teeth.

[CityRaptor]

Pss, it's saurus vs therium.

After the elephant's bellows fail to drive off the stegosaur, it proceeds to charge. The Stegosaurus braces itself, swings its spiky tail, and inflicts a deep wound on the Stegotetrabelodon's flank, which causes it to stumble and trumpet in pain. The Stegosaurus inflicts another wound on its opponent's shoulder, but now the big elephant is truly angry.

Although I'm pretty sure the Stego should have won after those two wounds. Stegodon and Stegomastodon would not stand a chance either.

[suspsy]

Pss, it's saurus vs therium.

Go back and reread the instructions.

After the elephant's bellows fail to drive off the stegosaur, it proceeds to charge. The Stegosaurus braces itself, swings its spiky tail, and inflicts a deep wound on the Stegotetrabelodon's flank, which causes it to stumble and trumpet in pain. The Stegosaurus inflicts another wound on its opponent's shoulder, but now the big elephant is truly angry.

Although I'm pretty sure the Stego should have won after those two wounds. Stegodon and Stegomastodon would not stand a chance either.

Elephants can take quite a bit of punishment, including puncture wounds. Also, Stegotetrabelodon was a particularly colossal beast weighing at 11 tons, so it could have survived a couple of thagomizer blows, albeit painfully.

[Libraraptor]

Stegosaurus vs. Stegotherium (an extinct genus of armadillo in the family Dasypodidae from Early Miocene). The dinosaur would win.

[EarthboundEiniosaurus]

Quite a fun idea!

For my matchup I'm pitting Baryonyx, the "heavy claw" against Barylambda, the "heavy lambda" (the lambda is in reference to the resemblance between the shape of the cusps on pantodont upper molars and the greek letter). Not looking good for the mammal unfortunately, as even being among the biggest pantodonts its still quite small compared to Baryonyx.

Maybe a more even matchup, Baryonyx vs. Barytherium, the "heavy beast". This is definitely a closer call, but again I think the dinosaur comes out on top.

[Stegotyranno420]

I gotta agree with @CityRaptor . People take stegosaurus for granted.

Plateisaurus vs platybelodon.
Plateosaurus runs into the proboscidean with its hefty frame, slashes it with those massive arms, and brings down its opponent only leaving a opening of  elephantine guts, but plateosaurus here is a vegetarian, so its left for scanvengers

[Lanthanotus]

Plateisaurus vs platybelodon. [sic]

I am not 100% sure if these apply for the competion, though I think the "plat" stands for "broad" in both genus.

I`ll throw in Sauropelta vs Sauroposeidon, though it will be by no means a balanced match.
The sauropod will trample its tanked relative into the dust with ease.

[Loon]

Alright, it's Paraceratherium vs. Parasaurolophus in a match for the ages!

Both contestants have entered the grocery store and have to prepare a dish using these five ingredients: eggs, cocoa powder, yogurt, black beans, and a fruit. Before the two contestants can rush down the aisles, host Guy Fieri says that there's a twist, they have to incorporate a meat product into their dish.

The twenty-five minutes begins! Parasaurolophus gets a head start racing down toward the meat section first, as this will determine what type of dish she plans to make. Paraceratherium, meanwhile, is checking out the original ingredients first, as they are necessary for his hot cocoa and fruit salad. Parasaurolophus notices her opponent run toward her now, she's spent far too much time looking at the meat. Finally, she relents and grabs four pounds of London Broil; she's going to try something crazy, and mix all of her ingredients into one item.

After Paraceratherium gets his meat, ribeye, he rushes to the kitchen, where Parasaurolophus has already been for a couple of minutes. As they're beginning to cook, Guy Fieri introduces out judges: professional chef to the stars Moeritherium, head chef at Leidy's and author of over ten books Uintatherium, and finally, award-winning food columnist Mastodonsaurus. "This is a tough bunch of ingredients that these contestants have to work with, I'm a little afraid of what we might see at the end of this" says Mastodonsaurus.

At the same time, with only 20 minutes to make and plate their dish, our chefs are racing against the clock. Parasaurolophus has started to prepare her meat, sprinkling salt and creating a dry rub with the cocoa powder for extra flavor. "It's risky, but that's what my over ten years of experience has taught me, take risks" she says. Meanwhile, Paraceratherium has completely skipped over his meat and has taken to creating his hot cocoa, using an egg to create both an aesthetically appealing topper as well as adding some flavor to the drink.

While waiting for her meat to cook, Parasaurolophus starts to work on the rest of her dish. She's going to make what is essentially a steak sauce out of the remaining ingredients. Placing them all into a bowl, she begins to stir until it all blends together. Tasting it, she realizes it could use some zest, and runs to produce section to get a lemon. With 10 minutes left, Paraceratherium has only just put his ribeye on the grill, but when he flips it, the meat completely falls apart. He forgot to spray the pan! He laments, "I'm thinking, I god, I'm done. A well-presented piece of meat is essential here, and I've got scraps."

With just 5 minutes remaining, the two contestants have to hurry it up or neither will have a dish presentable for the judges. "There's not much time and if these two don't plate that dish soon, I don't know what's going to happen," says judge Uintatherium. Parasaurolophus pulls her meat out of the oven, and it's still way too pink. She decides to cut it open and throw it on the grill, but there's now only three minutes left. Paraceratherium is still cooking his ribeye, but worried that the pieces might become too crisp.

One minute, thirty seconds left! Guy Fieri yells for the two to start playing their dishes. Paraceratherium is frustrated, as he thinks the meat looks unpresentable but has to put his dish together. Parasaurolophus is worried as well, as she garnished her meat with her bizarre mix of ingredients, she realizes she only cooked three of the four needed pieces.

Time! Both chefs now must present their dishes to the judges. Paraceratherium goes first. All three judges sample the dish. Guy Fieri comments on the disgusted face Moeritherium makes when sipping her hot cocoa. Moeritherium replies, "yes, well, I really don't understand what you were going for with the egg, it hasn't cooked and is seeping into the rest of the drink. Aside from that, I found your steak tips a little too overcooked, but other than that well done chef." The others feel similarly about the hot cocoa, though, Uintatherium goes slightly against the grain, "I slightly enjoyed it, though I'm more accustomed to dishes like this. It really reminds me of a traditional drink my grandmother would make, but if it was made wrong."

Parasaurolophus is up, and she's worried. That dish without meat is really going to hurt her. After eating their meals, the judges give their thoughts. Mastodonsaurus is the first one to comment, "your meat is a little too pink, and that kind of ruined it for me. But I have to say, I found your garnish to be surprisingly enjoyable. All the rich flavor really made up for the lacking steak." The other two judges are not as kind. "I have to be honest, the undercooked meat mixes with this slimy garnish, didn't work for me" says Uintatherium. Moeritherium agrees, "I don't really get what you were going for. Mixing a dry rub and a garnish, it's a bit odd." Guy tells the chefs to leave the kitchen, saying, "it's time for our judges to see who will become the next triple g champion!"

The two chefs have now returned to the kitchen and the winner is about to be picked. Parasaurolophus fears her dish, "was too undercooked and slimy." Paraceratherium is also afraid, he wonders of the egg in the drink was the right choice, or was he too bold? Guy Fieri begins, "and the winner of Guy's Grocery Games is", as he pauses, the sweat drips down Paraceratherium's face while Parasaurolophus holds her head down, Fieri screams, "Paraceratherium!"

"Oh my god, I can't believe it" exclaims the Mammal. "With that twenty thousand dollars, I can finally open my restaurant/big and tall clothing outlet." Fieri puts his hand on Parasaurolophus' shoulder, "sorry, chef." As she walks away from the kitchen and through the grocery store doors, she comments, "today definitely wasn't my day in the sun, but that's ok. I've still got plenty of years ahead of me to perfect my craft and I look forward to that more than anything."

[Halichoeres]

@Loon that was masterful. I almost never have any interest in 'who would win in a fight' type discussions, but I really felt for these two hapless chefs.

[Stegotyranno420]

So...whos next

Okay gigantopithecus vs gigantoraptor.
they walk past eachother in the flea market,

Hey hairy, you know where the food court is
said the Tall Bird
The ape replied
Dont bother me

they went along their own ways

[suspsy]

Arctosaurus, the mysterious "Arctic lizard," vs Arctotherium, the largest bear of all time.

Arctotherium enjoys a good if somewhat exotic meal.

[Stegotyranno420]

Arcto in Arctosaurus means  Arctic
Arctotherium comes from Arktos(Greek for Bear) which comes further from Proto Indo European *Rtskos(bear)
the etymology doesn't line up

Indosaurus vs Indosuchus.
They let to intimating growls at each other, before realizing how weak to look together in the shadow of Rajasaurus

[Newt]

Pachycephalosaurus vs. Pachycrocuta


Quoth the great bonehead, Tis quite a marvel,
To see a furball so big, so horrible!
Still, mammal be he, however enlarged.
Forsooth! I shall slay him with one fell charge!


Replied the hyena, Thy mighty dome,
O Lizard, hides a brain as dull as stone!
So run right to me, save me some trouble.
I'll pop thy fat skull like a great bubble!


With a mighty crash, the battle ensued
Bones cruelly were cracked, fangs with gore imbued
When the dust settled, the mammal stood tall
While the reptile had taken the final fall


Pachycrocuta, sore but victorious
Found his conquest a bit less than glorious
He howled out his woe at this cruelest fate
He'd lost all his teeth to his foe's hard pate!


I'm but an aardwolf! Cried the hyena
Gone were his strength and his proud demeanor
So if you would avoid this fate most dreaded
Remember: Quarrel not with the thick-headed!

[Stegotyranno420]

Impressive.

Amphicoecilas vs Amphicyon

I love dogs and all but let's be honest this is not a fight at all

[indohyus]

Arcto in Arctosaurus means  Arctic
Arctotherium comes from Arktos(Greek for Bear) which comes further from Proto Indo European *Rtskos(bear)
the etymology doesn't line up

Indosaurus vs Indosuchus.
They let to intimating growls at each other, before realizing how weak to look together in the shadow of Rajasaurus

Arctic means land of the bear. It still works perfectly.

Elasmosaurus vs Elasmotherium. Really depends on where it happens. Think Elasmotherium would be hard for Elasmosaurus to take in water, but would eventually win, while Elasmotherium is the clear winner on land, and if Elasmosaurus tried to jump it from the water. And in the sky...... it would be like the Sperm Whale and bowl of petunias in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

[Stegotyranno420]

@indohyus good point but you can also say that horse and carriage mean the same thing since they can both be traced to the Indo-European root *Kers(there are other symbols required to type the word which I don't have, so sorry) which means fast. And Arctic in Arcticosaurus 's name refers to the Arctic, not bear


Moving on Ceratosaurus vs Ceratotherium
I gotta give it to the bulkier Ceratosaurus which is larger and uses its jaws to decapitate the rhino legs

[Halichoeres]

Gonna break the rules.

Triceratops vs. Tricerichthys. Triceratops goes to take a drink of ocean water. First mistake. Second mistake: it tries to swallow a tiny Tricerichthys, but chokes to death on its spines. The fish dies too, of course, a pyrrhic victory.