Corrupt a wish

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but it pinches your fingers.

I wish that 'like' buttons had never been invented.

granted, we make dislike buttons.

I wish nobody sat nezt to me on the bus

Granted, people sit on top of you instead.

I wish Eddie Murphy was turned into a bullet ant

[CityRaptor]

Granted. His tendency to talk a lot has been turned into a tendency to sting a lot, he is a giant ant...How big? He stars in a remake of THEM! and this is his actual size.

I wish for for a 30 feet Amphibian!

[Fossilized-Rubber]

Granted. His tendency to talk a lot has been turned into a tendency to sting a lot, he is a giant ant...How big? He stars in a remake of THEM! and this is his actual size.

I wish for for a 30 feet Amphibian!

Congratulations, you get a deformed tadpole which develops into a frog with fifteen pairs of legs. It dies after its clumps of feet suffocate it to death.

I wish dinosaurs were alive today.

[CityRaptor]

But they are already, ah well, as you wish, non-avian Dinosaurs return. But it all goes Dinosaurs Attack! style ( complete with Gary Gerani exclaiming that "THE PAST COMES ALIVE!" ) and this time, they win.

Speakig of Dinosaurs Attack!...I wish for a pristine copy of the whole card set.   

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but they're made of fondant. They're pristine now, but good luck keeping them that way.

I wish autumn lasted six months.

[Fossilized-Rubber]

I wish autumn lasted six months.

Granted: due to global warming the trees lose all their leaves due to heat shock during a drought mid-summer, giving you a six month autumn. To quote the Beatles, "here comes the sun".

I wish there were a return to the 60s/70s style of hand-painted promotional art in common products.

Speakig of Dinosaurs Attack!...I wish for a pristine copy of the whole card set.   

Not to go entirely off topic but I picked up a newly minted set including the wax wrappers and a full set of stickers for £17 on ebay. They're incredible. I'll post some pics to my collection thread and we can continue the topic there.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but the hand that paints the promotional materials is of somebody who was doing those paintings in the 60s and 70s. There's a considerable amount of trembling in their brushstrokes.

I wish for every air conditioner in Longboat Key, Florida to irreparably break next July 15th.

[Splonkadumpocus]

Granted. You moved there in the meantime and forgot that you made that wish.

I wish I could shoot laser beams out of my eyes.

[Fossilized-Rubber]

I wish I could shoot laser beams out of my eyes.

You can, but also you can't not. You obliterate anything you try to read or see and you can't close your eyes. The government eventually wressle you prone and work you into a super weapon in an open-topped research facility.

I wish I were a pea with no thoughts.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but you do have some basic emotions, mostly fear as you are picked, shelled, split, and simmered in a soup.

I wish the concert tour of the band Vetusta Morla through the Americas included at least one US date.

[Fossilized-Rubber]

I wish the concert tour of the band Vetusta Morla through the Americas included at least one US date.

Granted. They write a song called "July 4, 1776" about American independence and consumerism and perform it in Spain.

I wish I were a diplodocus hanging out in my own time period.

[DinoFan2010]

Granted, but a pack of Allosaurs will now hunt you down no matter what.
I wish for a level 40 Indoraptor in JWTG.

[DefinitelyNOTDilo]

Granted, but they release a patch that raises the max level to 80 and needs all previous levels, making your entire collection useless.

I wish for a pet black-throat monitor.

[DinoFan2010]

Granted, but they release a patch that raises the max level to 40 and needs all previous levels, making your entire collection useless.

I wish for a pet black-throat monitor.

The max level is 40.

[DefinitelyNOTDilo]

Granted, but they release a patch that raises the max level to 40 and needs all previous levels, making your entire collection useless.

I wish for a pet black-throat monitor.

The max level is 40.

Apologies, meant to type 80 there! Should be fixed!

[Perotorum]

I wish I could shoot laser beams out of my eyes.

You can, but also you can't not. You obliterate anything you try to read or see and you can't close your eyes. The government eventually wressle you prone and work you into a super weapon in an open-topped research facility.

I wish I were a pea with no thoughts.

You can't wish for what already is, that's not how wishes work.

[Stegotyranno420]

Definetlynot Dilo Granted but the monitor eventually becomes the owner and you are his pet

I wish for a bagel

[Primeval12]

Granted but it's 3 days old, from the dollar store, thawed slowly, just fished it out from behind the counter.

I wish that Mattel would improve their Jurassic World models.

[Fossilized-Rubber]

I wish I were a pea with no thoughts.

You can't wish for what already is, that's not how wishes work.

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(A pea on a fork)

[Splonkadumpocus]

Granted but it's 3 days old, from the dollar store, thawed slowly, just fished it out from behind the counter.

I wish that Mattel would improve their Jurassic World models.

Granted. They become sentient and eat you.

I wish we knew exactly what Spinosaurus looked like.