Corrupt a wish

[Splonkadumpocus]

Granted. It has rabies and bites you all over the place.

I wish I could fly.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but you fly 25% slower than mosquitoes and you attract them all.

I wish for a good textbook of physiology.

[Tracewyrm!]

Granted, but it's written in a language you can't speak (..yet, if you're dedicated).

I wish I could shapeshift into one form of my choosing.

[Megalosaurus]

[ . . . ]
I wish I could shapeshift into one form of my choosing.

Granted but you can't feel, hear, see and breath while on that form.
I wish to find viable Trilobite eggs capable of hatching.

[GojiraGuy1954]

[ . . . ]
I wish I could shapeshift into one form of my choosing.

Granted but you can't feel, hear, see and breath while on that form.
I wish to find viable Trilobite eggs capable of hatching.

Granted, it's a boy! Or rather, 500,000 of them! Imagine the fun your local coastal ecosystem will have!

I wish for new key on my keyboard without any paint chipped off of them

[Splonkadumpocus]

Granted, but they're all labeled with ancient Mayan glyphs and won't type anything else.

I wish I could teleport anywhere in the world at will.

[DinoFan2010]

Granted, but every time you do, an ARK Giga appears in a random place in the world.
I wish the Troodon in ARK did not require a sacrifice to tame.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but every time you do, an ARK Giga appears in a random place in the world.
I wish the Troodon in ARK did not require a sacrifice to tame.

Granted, but you will turn into an Ark yourself to appease the dark troodon gods.

I wish I was bald

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but you now have a luxuriant mantle of back hair.

I wish the forum had a dislike button to counterbalance the like button.

[DinoFan2010]

Granted, but the like button is eradicated because of it.
I wish for Papo Dinosaurs to be cheaper.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but they achieve it by only applying one coat of paint in one color. And they ship them still wet.

I wish that buses had cowcatchers to shove cars that park/idle in the bus lane out of the way.

[DinoFan2010]

Granted, but they achieve it by only applying one coat of paint in one color. And they ship them still wet.

I wish that buses had cowcatchers to shove cars that park/idle in the bus lane out of the way.

Granted, but they are actually cowlaunchers, which is kind of self-explanatory.
I wish for someone to teach the cows to play bagpipes.

[Perotorum]

@DinoFan2010 Granted, but the cows can only play Romanian and Serbian folk music, which is already awful without bagpipes, and cattle are very vocal animals.

I wish for a jacob sheep.

[Splonkadumpocus]

You get a regular sheep that happens to be named Jacob.

I wish I had studied harder and played less in school.

[Perotorum]

You get a regular sheep that happens to be named Jacob.

I wish I had studied harder and played less in school.

Granted, now you are an isolated social reject with no connections or meaningful friendships, you may have an academic achievement, but in the face of AI, an overqualified society, and the internet providing an infinite access to even the most obscure knowledge, the achievement is but hollow ashes and void of the humanity that makes life worthwhile.

Also, I wish for Jacob to be polycerate and piebald.



Granted,I had the opportunity to buy one at auction last year, but he was not polycerate like the one in the photo, and the year before, I had the opportunity to buy a polycerate Mouflon-Barbados cross known as the American Blackbelly that had 4 horns, but he had 2 issues, one, being part wild sheep meant he behaved like one, and he rammed a 72 year old man in the face when he tried to escape the ring( the old guy was fine and has been there the last 2 times I went to the auction), and two, he was a wither and I was looking for a fertile ram, so he was not a viable candidate for purchase.

[DinoFan2010]

Granted, but you get two sheep, one piebald, one polycerate, both named Jacob. One is kind and loving, the other is aggresive and territorial.
I wish that songs weren't as repetive as they are now.

[Stegotyranno420]

Granted, but now songs all are completely different, but still sound awful. just uniquely awful.

I wish to be able to play multiple instruments at once

[DinoFan2010]

Granted, but now songs all are completely different, but still sound awful. just uniquely awful.

I wish to be able to play multiple instruments at once

Granted, but you can only play music from Spongebob Squarepants.
I wish Pegos were removed from ARK

[Halichoeres]

Granted, it's because they have been replaced by wyverns, as the first step in a hard turn to high fantasy.

I wish that zebra crossings had laser beams that would zap off any part of a car that protruded onto the crossing while someone is crossing on foot/non-car wheels.

[DinoFan2010]

Granted, it's because they have been replaced by wyverns, as the first step in a hard turn to high fantasy.

I wish that zebra crossings had laser beams that would zap off any part of a car that protruded onto the crossing while someone is crossing on foot/non-car wheels.

First off, joke's on you, they already HAVE Wyverns in ARK.
Granted, but the lasers go rogue, the first sign of the robot invasion.
I wish Nintendo rereleased the OG Gameboy.