Corrupt a wish

[Papi-Anon]

I wish Nintendo rereleased the OG Gameboy.

Granted, but it still uses AA batteries has the power-consumption 3x that of a Sega Gamegear.

I wish that modern-day giant Asian salamanders were found out to be actually extant temnospondyls.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, it's because they have been replaced by wyverns, as the first step in a hard turn to high fantasy.

I wish that zebra crossings had laser beams that would zap off any part of a car that protruded onto the crossing while someone is crossing on foot/non-car wheels.

First off, joke's on you, they already HAVE Wyverns in ARK.

Ha, the game is clearly not what I thought it was.

I wish that modern-day giant Asian salamanders were found out to be actually extant temnospondyls.

Well, they are! In the sense that modern amphibians probably all descended from dissorophoid temnospondyls. So granted, but boringly?

I wish shmoos were real.

[DinoFan2010]

Granted, but the Shmoos end up taking over the planet, and all human life is sent to Mars as the Shmoos rule the Earth.
I wish public school had actually edible food.

[Cpt Red 3eard]

Granted, but to cover the costs associated, massive taxes are levied and the local populace revolts leading to civil war. Historians refer to this conflict as The Food Fight.

I wish for more dinosaur centric films that are thrilling and informative.

[DinoFan2010]

Granted, but now Dinosaur movies only come out once every ten years, and are constantly criticized for outdated information.


I wish ARK made figures of their Dinosaurs.

[Papi-Anon]

Granted, but they're non-articulated miniatures the size of a grape (no consistent scale) with hot-neon paint jobs that are nothing like the in-game models and are sold in blind bags at $30usd for a single figurine.

I wish we found a fully-complete post-cranial skeleton of Andrewsarchus.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, it turns out to have a few stumpy vertebrae, no forelimbs, and just two hooks for hindlimbs. It anchored itself to the bottom of a marsh and just fed on whatever wandered by, incapable of independent movement after about two weeks of life.

I wish all parking lots were on the opposite side of buildings from their entrance, so that people had to walk all the way around to get in. Spots for people with disabilities can still be in front.

[Bowhead Whale]

Granted. But now, people have to enter through the windows of the buildings instead of the door, because the door is now reserved for the handicapped people.

I wish I was popular.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but only in the stamp-collecting community.

I wish for the total eradication of all kinds of Grass from the planet.

[Stegotyranno420]

Granted, but only in the stamp-collecting community.

I wish for the total eradication of all kinds of Grass from the planet.

Because you need to touch grass, we sent you and all the grass to an exoplanet where you can spend the rest of your life touching grass, because you need to touch grass.

Ich will werden gelernt in Deutsche
(you could probably see why i would wish that haha^)

[Bowhead Whale]

So, if I understand well, you want to learn to speak german. Is that it?

Granted. But now, you cannot speak english, nor french, nor spanish, nor any other language at all besides german.

I wish I had bigger hands, instead of the tiny, baby hands I have right now. They are so limited when it comes to carry stuff.

[Halichoeres]

I wish I had bigger hands, instead of the tiny, baby hands I have right now. They are so limited when it comes to carry stuff.

Granted, you have Deinocheirus hands. You're good at combing your hair but not much else.

I wish health codes pertaining to dogs in restaurants were more strictly enforced.

[Torvosaurus]

Granted. But enforcing the health codes extends to service dogs as well, so everybody resorts to service cats, and your food is full of cat hair.

I wish Disney would just give up on making Star Wars "extensions", "sequels" or whatever they choose to call them.

Torvo

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, they buy out Star Trek and make "extensions", "sequels" and whatever they choose to call them of that franchise instead.

I wish that cereal would not go soggy

[Halichoeres]

Granted, cereal is now made from water chestnuts.

I wish the volume of children gradually increased with age, such that crying babies are whisper quiet, and they only achieved full volume at age 25.

[Perotorum]

Granted, cereal is now made from water chestnuts.

I wish the volume of children gradually increased with age, such that crying babies are whisper quiet, and they only achieved full volume at age 25.

Granted, now 25 year-olds are extremely annoying and obnoxious.

I wish for more shelf space for my growing collection of models.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, a school board near you clears out an entire school library and sells you the shelves at a deep discount.

I wish my toes were impervious to stubbing.

[DinoFan2010]

Granted, but if you ever stub your toe, the item you stub it on will shatter into pieces like glass. Even things like wood or animals will simply shatter.
I wish for a Hammond Collection Quality figure of the old Ark Raptor that is cheap, has several points of articulation, stellar quality control, great paint work, ships within a day, and can be customized to be any colors you want it to be.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but they are made available only on Mattel Creations. They forget to limit preorders, so one scalper buys the entire stock and specifies that they be painted in safety vest orange with uniform lime green eyes (pupil and all). The scalper lists them on ebay for $600 apiece.

I wish that every time someone generated an AI image, one thirsty mosquito would spontaneously appear in their bedroom.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but the mosquito is only thirsty for your blood specifically, and they all known your location.

I wish for the ability to stay up for five years without any sleep