Corrupt a wish

[Halichoeres]

Granted, they burn through your eyelids. You can't sleep, and you can't blink, so your eyes dry out and you lose your vision.

I wish every intercity train in the US ran at least ten trips per day in each direction.

[Bowhead Whale]

Granted! They don't stop anywhere and just keep going, so nobody can take them.

I wish I could fly.

[Gothmog the Baryonyx]

Granted, you are permanently stuck in a variety of aeroplanes you can never leave.

I wish we could abolish the British monarchy.

[Stegotyranno420]

Granted, it's replaced with a theocracy.(depending on which kind, I'm not complaining)

I wish all of the world's arthropod pests become my slaves and do my bidding

[Halichoeres]

Granted, it's replaced with a theocracy.(depending on which kind, I'm not complaining)

I assume the type you'd be okay with is Unitarian Universalist. Otherwise, yikes.

I wish all of the world's arthropod pests become my slaves and do my bidding

Granted, but you can't multitask, so anytime you have something for them to do, they all do it at once. "Bring me a bagel" --> your house is crushed under the weight of ~one quintillion animals, many of whom are suffocating and putrefying after crawling out on dry land.

I wish I could make caltrops appear just in front of the tires of cars that endanger pedestrians.

[Bowhead Whale]

Granted! Now, pedestrians stop following the rules as well and cross the streets anywhere, anytime.

I wish the crack trade went down, nobody using it anymore.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but it's because everyone has switched to snorting cocaine, with terrible consequences for human rights and public safety in the American tropics.


I wish dogs would refrain from licking.

[Stegotyranno420]

Granted, they now promote foolish pseudoscience instead of licking to show affection

I wish to control the weather

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but it's suddenly the 1600s, and you are executed on account of Witchcraft.

I wish to know if we can get much higher or not

[Stegotyranno420]

I'm assuming you mean elevation, and not the act of utilizing in the devil's lettuce as modern slang says it.
Now we are all on Mount Everest elevation.


I wish yogurt didn't smell so awful

[GojiraGuy1954]

I'm assuming you mean elevation, and not the act of utilizing in the devil's lettuce as modern slang says it.

Can we get much higher, so high
Can we get much higher, so high

[GojiraGuy1954]

I'm assuming you mean elevation, and not the act of utilizing in the devil's lettuce as modern slang says it.
Now we are all on Mount Everest elevation.


I wish yogurt didn't smell so awful

Granted, it smells terrible instead

I wish that a single mouse spontaneously appeared somewhere in Kenya

[Halichoeres]

That mouse is pregnant with a dozen mice fetuses. Its progeny reproduce rapidly and displace all the native mice. Way to go.

I wish for a piñata full of peanut butter cups.

[Stegotyranno420]

Granted, but the piñata is made out of concrete

I wish for all 100% s in all classes

[GiganotosaurusFan]

Granted, all your classmates hate you now, and you are bullied every day for being a geek.
I wish I could not breathe and still survive.

[Stegotyranno420]

Granted but you are in suspended animation forever

I wish to travel to Austria

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but you're in Austria and of conscription age in August 1914.

I wish cattle could photosynthesize.

[Stegotyranno420]

Granted, but you're in Austria and of conscription age in August 1914.

I wish cattle could photosynthesize.

Atleast I could die the way my forefathers died-we were meant to fight

Granted, you become a multi-billionaire for your new cattle breed, and you live a long healthy life-until you realize your cattle had destroyed the ecosystems of the world, and the natural order


I wish for either a peanut or 20 dollars to buy many peanuts that can be exchanged for goods and services

[Halichoeres]

Granted, you get a peanut. But also you're allergic to peanuts.

I wish for a big grassy hill and a human-sized hamster ball.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, you get a peanut. But also you're allergic to peanuts.

I wish for a big grassy hill and a human-sized hamster ball.

Granted. You're now a Human-Sized Hamster as well, and a gigantic Hawk is currently approaching at speed.

I wish that all plastics in the ocean disappeared instantaneously