Corrupt a wish

[Lynx]

Granted, you get a peanut. But also you're allergic to peanuts.

I wish for a big grassy hill and a human-sized hamster ball.

Granted. You're now a Human-Sized Hamster as well, and a gigantic Hawk is currently approaching at speed.

I wish that all plastics in the ocean disappeared instantaneously

Granted, but by 'disappeared' it was actually launched into space, and because of just how much there is, the sun is blocked out, and slowly the earth dies in a mixture of freezing and darkness.

I wish I could turn into a walnut on command.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, you get a peanut. But also you're allergic to peanuts.

I wish for a big grassy hill and a human-sized hamster ball.

Granted. You're now a Human-Sized Hamster as well, and a gigantic Hawk is currently approaching at speed.

I wish that all plastics in the ocean disappeared instantaneously

Granted, but by 'disappeared' it was actually launched into space, and because of just how much there is, the sun is blocked out, and slowly the earth dies in a mixture of freezing and darkness.

I wish I could turn into a walnut on command.

Granted, but you can't turn back.

I wish he could turn back.

[Halichoeres]

Granted but when he turns back into a human he's stuck in a walnut shell.

I wish my shoes would never wear out.

[Stegotyranno420]

Granted, but that's because you don't use those shoes anymore, and spent millions to keep them safe for millenia.

I wish they started to sell high end dinosaur figurines instore

[Lynx]

Granted, but that's because you don't use those shoes anymore, and spent millions to keep them safe for millenia.

I wish they started to sell high end dinosaur figurines instore

Granted, it's only high end knock-offs they sell.

I wish I could escape this walnut shell

[Stegotyranno420]

Granted but you find out you are actually in a walnut inside a coconut. And the wish doesn't apply to the latter

I wish I could dunk in basketball

[Lynx]

Granted but you find out you are actually in a walnut inside a coconut. And the wish doesn't apply to the latter

I wish I could dunk in basketball

Granted, every time you dunk, however, a random ant dies. Soon, colonies of ants, confused by these sudden cases of death, ignore it at first, but after a colony of fire ants queen dies, they hire a detective, a sugar ant, to track down the cause of this. No matter what the sugar ant did, ants still died. It wasn't a disease, it wasn't old age, it wasn't 'natural causes, so what happened?

Around a decade in ant-years passes by, and after much tedious work by the sugar ant, they find a basketball. For the sake of something fun in dark times.

When a group of ants manages to dunk the basketball, a ant in the crowd dies. Turns out, it is whatever basketball you touch that allows you to dunk, and kill ants at the same time. The sugar ant locates your fingerprints, tracks you down, and for the rest of your days, you must spend it in the ocean for the ants to not swarm you.

I wish insects could not sting

[Halichoeres]

Granted, now there is no honey because bees are defenseless against honey-seeking animals and birds hankering for a tasty bee larva.

I wish people cared as much about wild bees as they do about honeybees.

Side note, Stegotyranno420 will have to do a lot of dunking for ants to notice their enormous numbers dwindling!

[Stegotyranno420]

Granted, we stop caring about both since we genetically engineered our own pollinating species out of butterflies which are not annoying to humans(eg buzzing, stinging, making nests in my backyard)

I wish we reformed English orthography
Ai wiś wī rīformd Ingliś orþógræfi

[Halichoeres]

Granted but it's based on the phonetic alphabet I invented as a kid to stop my mom from reading my journal.

I wish Vitae would be re-vitae-lized.

[Stegotyranno420]

Granted but it's based on the phonetic alphabet I invented as a kid to stop my mom from reading my journal.

I wish Vitae would be re-vitae-lized

You did that too? Awesome

Granted, but they now make modern and mythical animals instead. Not that bad, but it would be cool to have more dinosaurs or paleozoic life.

I wish mass media was more focused on education

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but it's only computer science. Kids learn how to program but have no grasp of the ethics of its various applications.

I wish ginkgo seeds smelled nicer.

[Stegotyranno420]

Granted, but now they are toxic to touch.

I wish for all arthropods besides pollinators and edible crustaceans to be sent to the moon

[Halichoeres]

Granted. Aedes mosquitoes pollinate orchids (this is true), but their predators, such as dragonflies, do not. Dengue and chikungunya spread unchecked.

I wish right on red were banned again.

[Bowhead Whale]

Granted. Now, it is right on pedestrian light that is accepted by law.

I wish I had the power to see my favorite actors on the nude when seeing them on TV or on photos.

[Ludodactylus]

Granted, but you're president for life of the Ernest Borgnine fan club.

I wish humans had prehensile tails.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but only because a change in Deep Time caused Great Apes to never evolve; what would have otherwise become Homo sapiens is a species of rare rainforest monkey threatened with extinction due to logging by a sapient corvid society.

I wish for Light

[Halichoeres]

Granted, it overloads your retinas and you never see again.

I wish ticks were extinct.

[Stegotyranno420]

Granted, but the whole world now knows you made them extinct and tick activists give you a hard time.

I wish I could control my body temperature more efficiently

[Duck]

Granted, but you become enamored with your new power and end up accidently setting yourself on fire while playing with the temperature
I wish I was able to focus in school