Corrupt a wish

[Halichoeres]

I wish I could have any Dinosaur figure I wanted for free, at any time I choose.

Granted, but the instant gratification takes all the joy out of collecting. In a fit of despair, you burn all your figures on a bonfire.

I wish I could commandeer the sensory inputs of other organisms.

[Megalosaurus]

[...]
I wish I could commandeer the sensory inputs of other organisms.

Granted. But you lose every of your sensory inputs, so you can't see, hear, smell, taste nor feel anything.

The following is a REAL wish that I had when I first meet the triops.
I wish to find trilobite eggs in stasis in dryied sedmients, and hatch them so all humans can watch them alive.

[stargatedalek]

Granted, they take over the world and enslave humanity.

I wish for Monster Hunter X.

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, they take over the world and enslave humanity.

I wish for Monster Hunter X.

Granted, but it is banned in every country other than Albania, and possession of it brings the penality of death by drowning in vinegar.

I wish I could never get sick in any way.

[Soopairik]

Granted, but all the dinosaur figures must be over 10 meters long.

I wish I had a mechanical Triceratops in my backyard.

[alexeratops]

Granted, they take over the world and enslave humanity.

I wish for Monster Hunter X.

Granted, but it is banned in every country other than Albania, and possession of it brings the penality of death by drowning in vinegar.

I wish I could never get sick in any way.

Granted, but everybody else you value gets a nasty case of the flu for two months.

I wish I had a completely tame, docile, and friendly Velociraptor that would not attack me or my friends.

[PumperKrickel]

deleted

[Halichoeres]

I wish I had a mechanical Triceratops in my backyard.

Granted, but the builder failed to use any galvanized metal, and after the first rain it is a heap of rust.

I wish the sky was green instead of blue.

Granted, but it's because the atmosphere is helium and after a few entertaining seconds of high pitched screaming, you are dead.

(PS that was a good corruption of alexeratops' wish)

(PPS I have zero idea what color a helium sky would be)

I wish my coat adapted itself to any kind of weather and coordinated itself with whatever else I'm wearing.

[Soopairik]

Granted, but the coat is way too small for you.

I wish I could jump 50 feet in the air, then land without getting hurt.

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but the coat is way too small for you.

I wish I could jump 50 feet in the air, then land without getting hurt.

Granted, but it means you have to have giant frog legs to do so, and you are soon hunted down and captured by scientists intent upon dissecting and studying those legs, and then selling the flesh as a delicacy in France.

I wish I had a magic oven that could instantly produce any hot meal that I want instantly, and the meals are delicious and cooked perfectly without fail.

[CityRaptor]

Granted, but it only works because you are a magical unicorn in a land of talking horses where no one ever has heard of dinosaurs.

I wish Schleich made use of their Marvel license to make a Devil Dinosaur figure.

[Megalosaurus]

[...]
I wish Schleich made use of their Marvel license to make a Devil Dinosaur figure.

Granted:

But it costs as much as 3 discontinued sideshow statues + a Battat diplodocus.

I wish a Pistachio tree in my house giving delicious healty pistachios all the year.

[stargatedalek]

Granted, the root system makes your house unstable and it's condemned immediately.

I wish driving was easier.

[BlueKrono]

Granted, self-driving cars take all the complication out of driving. In fact automation takes all the complexity and effort out of everything, and we all end up looking like the people from Wall-E.

I wish I could visit Tierra del Fuego in Argentina.

[Halichoeres]

I wish I could visit Tierra del Fuego in Argentina.

Granted, but it's as the resident of a new penal colony run by a sadist.

I wish I had a ray gun that caused anyone I pointed it at to urgently need a bathroom, so that I would never have to stand in line again.

[Soopairik]

Granted, but you can only use it when you're in line for a restroom.

I wish to have infinite amounts of not corrupt wishes. 

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but you can only use it when you're in line for a restroom.

I wish to have infinite amounts of not corrupt wishes.

Granted, but the infinite wishes have to all be the same; wishing that you could eat an apple. Which is all well and good, but it's a bit boring, especially ad infinitum.

I wish I had two green towels.

[alexeratops]

I wish I had two green towels.

Granted, but when you wash them all of the dye washes out, staining your clothes.

I wish the dinosaurs never went extinct and the humans never existed because of it.

[Halichoeres]

I wish the dinosaurs never went extinct and the humans never existed because of it.

Granted. Instead, around what would otherwise have been the Oligocene, a species of enantiornithine birds  (but they call themselves "Canonornithines" ["normal birds"], because the Neoaves are obviously the opposite ones in this scenario) undergoes an industrial revolution, ushering in an age of extinction that wipes out the last synapsids. Their geologists dub the age the "Canonornithocene."

I wish for a new pair of shoes.

[Soopairik]

Granted, but you have to give up all your socks for it, and buy new socks.

I wish I can make it rain apple cider.