Corrupt a wish

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but you grow so ravenous with your new heightened metabolism that others starve. Moreover, your body suffers from the oxidative stress of burning through so much food.

I wish coffee whitened one's teeth.

[Ravonium]

Granted, but it ends up tasting so disgusting that you end up using pure caffeine to spike your energy instead. You then overdose on it, which...yeah, I think you already know there this goes next 


I wish I could modify myself to be resistant to pretty much any chemical with adverse effects on human health.

[Shonisaurus]

Granted but you would envenarías the atmosphere since you would become a radioactive being.

I wish the novels with a sad ending did not exist.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but literature is boring, sounds like.

I wish my hand would obey my imagination more completely when drawing.

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but it starts channeling aspects of your subconscious imagination that had long been dormant, until your hand seems to have a life of it's own, being now under the control of an alternate personality that you were completely unaware of, a personality whose singular goal is to draw really, really poorly.

I wish I had a piece of carrot cake.

[Shonisaurus]

Granted but you would eat it a hare.

I wish there were anomalocaris and they would cross the oceans.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but they secrete a toxin that kills every economically important fish species. Without the protein from seafood, entire economies collapse and millions starve.

I wish the United States would adopt permanent daylight saving instead of this stupid switching back and forth twice a year.

[Gothmog the Baryonyx]

Granted, but the British (myself not included) become very angry that America has done this and Britain doesn't, and the peer pressure causes the law to immediately be changed back.

I wish that we still had wolves in the UK.

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but they gradually eat, and then disguise themselves as, every Grandma in the country, leading to much confusion.

I wish I was happily married to a tree.

[Shonisaurus]

Granted but they would be born from your union with the tree, hybrid beings that would demonstrate against the use of wood and the wood and fruit industry would be ruined and would cause millions of job layoffs and a world war between humans and hybrids of humans and trees .

I wish Safari made a magnificent and gigantic solid PVC paraceratherium.

[Halichoeres]

First, that was a good corruption.

Second, granted, but they only produce 10 copies, all life-size. In order to own it you sell all you currently have and hollow out its torso, which is now your only shelter.

I wish I could precisely mimic any bird song.

[Melanite]

I wish I could precisely mimic any bird song.

Granted, but you lose the ability to speak. You must communicate by mimicking the voice of a parrot that is mimicking human speech.

I wish that I had more motivation to finish the craft projects that I start.

[Ravonium]

Granted, but this comes at the cost of your motivation to eat, making you starve to death.

I wish for a second dimension.

[Shonisaurus]

Granted but you could not enter the third dimension which is much more interesting.

I would like to measure a 1.90 high.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but everyone else is increased to a minimum of 1.95 meters. You are now the shortest man on Earth.

I wish I could turn off my ability to smell in certain situations.

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but while your sense of smell is turned off, your sense of taste is heightened to such a degree that you effectively taste whatever it was you would normally be smelling.

I wish that the human-tree hybrids won the war, destroyed the remainder of human civilisation, re-forested all the waste-lands that would remain, then founded a new eternally peaceful civilisation that existed in a harmonious relationship with the Earth's natural ecosystem. 

[Shonisaurus]

Granted but after the disappearance of humans the rats would become intelligent and another war would break out against the hybrids of humans and trees.

I wish the rodents would dominate the earth and occupy the place in the power of humans.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but when Earth is inevitably invaded by extraterrestrials, they find it easy because our rodent overlords can be conquered with traps baited with peanut butter and oats.

I wish my clothes were self-healing.

[Ravonium]

Granted, but they only self heal because they are made up of giant, rapidly dividing masses of infectious bacteria, meaning that any form of wound (even something as minor as a pimple, papercut or bruise) you get from now on quickly becomes so bad that the area infected has to be amputated. Eventually, every one of your body parts is prosthetic. Additionally, you end up being put on death row for being the cause of an epidemic and for plunging the government into $999 quintillion worth of debt funding the development of new types of prosthetic body parts.


I wish I didn't think up of that scenario.

[Shonisaurus]

Granted but you have thought about the aforementioned scenario and there is no turning back.

I wish it would triple the number of rhinos in Java, Sumatra, India, and double the number of black and white rhinos in less than ten years to prevent their extinction.