Corrupt a wish

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted but you have thought about the aforementioned scenario and there is no turning back.

I wish it would triple the number of rhinos in Java, Sumatra, India, and double the number of black and white rhinos in less than ten years to prevent their extinction.

Granted, but they kill all of the extraterrestrials that try to make contact. Also, it's not a matter of if i get banned again, it's a matter of when i get banned again.

I wish for penguins.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but they befoul your home with copious guano. The floors become so slick with it that you and everyone you live with eventually fall and sustain serious injuries. And the smell, dear god, the smell.

I wish for season tickets to the symphony.

[Shonisaurus]

Granted but the symphony tickets are expired so you could not attend it.

I wish the desert of the Sahara would become a lush jungle.

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but the rest of the world's jungles become arid waste lands, and the animals living in both locations struggle to adapt to the immediate drastic change in environment, pushing many rare species to the brink of extinction.

I wish I had the power of the sun in the palm of my hand. 

[Lizerd]

 But every time you used it our actual sun would vanish, only to be replaced by a red giant.

I wish for a cookie.

[Shonisaurus]

Granted but the cookie would have cyanide and you would die.

I wish I could be an Olympic high jump champion.

[Halichoeres]

Granted but you can only manage it with steroids. You are embroiled in a doping scandal and your name and country are forever tarnished, as far as high jumping is concerned.

I wish I had a nanopore pocket sequencer for frivolous uses, like identifying trees and insects in the woods.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but your device is a flat earther.

I wish for a reboot of the movie Holes.
https://www.google.com/search?q=holes+movie&rlz=1C1CHBF_en-gbGB798GB798&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwju-NeVv4zhAhVaSxUIHSWfBBcQ_AUIDygC&biw=1920&bih=969
(Check out the book too, it's a good read. No dinosaurs, but still)

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but it's a Shia LaBeouf passion project which he writes and directs himself, and stars in again, only this time he plays every character in the film. He also composes the soundtrack, which is comprised entirely of his own guttural grunting and whistling. It's all filmed in a child's sand pit, and is 6 hours long.

I wish I could just click my fingers at any time and instantly become thoroughly clean from head to toe.

[Brocc21]

Granted, but it's a Shia LaBeouf passion project which he writes and directs himself, and stars in again, only this time he plays every character in the film. He also composes the soundtrack, which is comprised entirely of his own guttural grunting and whistling. It's all filmed in a child's sand pit, and is 6 hours long.

I'd watch that

[Shonisaurus]

Granted but you would notice that the rest of the people and animals have an unpleasant odor and your nose would suffer detrimentally.

I wish they published in any language of the world every one of the documentary series of dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals, even if they were languages or minority dialects.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but they put in pop-culture references

I wish that my change.org petitions would get signed.

https://www.change.org/p/bbc-walking-with-dinosaurs-reboot
https://www.change.org/p/toho-rename-zilla-to-john
https://www.change.org/p/dreamworks-give-moto-moto-a-spin-off-franchise


Please

These are important to me

[Ravonium]

Granted, but the BBC, Toho and Dreamworks end up ignoring the petitions.

Speaking of petitions, I wish I had a petition.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but the BBC, Toho and Dreamworks end up ignoring the petitions.

Speaking of petitions, I wish I had a petition.

Granted, but no-one signs it.


I wish the penguins would not befoul my home. And come on guys, that was a plug! Why u no sign?

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, the penguins do not befoul your home, instead they hack into your change.org account and remove every record of anyone who attempts to sign the petitions, while also hacking your social media profiles, framing you for some very fishy and nefarious aquatic crimes.

I wish that all birds were my friends.   

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but they are a bad influence, and lead you into a brief, tragic life of crime. You're shot in a gunfight with police after a failed heist at one of those shops that sells bird seed and feeders.

I wish I hadn't forgotten to include a wish, requiring that I edit this comment to add one.

[Lizerd]

Granted, everyone is now mad at you for forgetting a key aspect in the game. In revenge a horde of aggressive frogs devours you.

I wish I could restore the Roman Empire.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but it falls the next day, with them trying to conquer america, and immediately getting obliterated by a nuclear warhead.

I wish the penguins would not befoul my home or have the capability of hacking my computer.

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but instead they stand on each other's shoulders beneath a long trench coat, pretending to be a visiting salesman, they knock on your door but when you answer they just slap you across the face a few times and run away.

I wish mead was as readily available in bars as other liquors.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but you drink the pain away. Eventually, you are an alcoholic. You get even more obsessed with mead, and start a mead-based cult. This cult leads to the destruction of the DTF.

I wish the penguins would not befoul my home, have the capability of hacking my computer or slap me across the face.