Corrupt a wish

[CityRaptor]

Granted, but at a price:


I wish to be the owner of Disney.

[Halichoeres]

Granted. After a series of questionable business decisions resulting in thirty money-losing feature films in a row, the company is broken up and sold off in pieces. The theme parks all become Creation Museum franchises with ark replicas and everything. You are henceforth known as the person who killed Disney.

I wish the restaurants around me served lionfish.

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but rather than natural lionfish, they actually serve the meat of a genetically engineered hybrid combining the body of a lion with the head of a great white shark, confusingly these are also just called lionfish. However, the local 'lionfish' farm proves to be poorly managed and the security systems fail, leading to an escape of the creatures. Their surprising level of intelligence allows them to deduce that it was your wish that brought about their cruel fate, and they now know only hate.

I wish I knew how to identify every species of bird by their song alone.

[alexeratops]

Granted, but your property becomes overrun with birds of all varieties, making your house a tourist hotspot and also keeping you from being able to grow plants or sleep well because of their insane maintenance and upkeep.

I wish that I could stay more organized.

[Loon]

Granted, but that means all of your stuff is destroyed so you have nothing to organize

[Ravonium]

error: 'wish' not found

[Lizerd]

Granted, but you will never find a wish

I wish for a well cooked piece of broccoli.

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but you don't digest broccoli well, so you experience some mild intestinal discomfort.

I wish for retractable wings.

[Lizerd]

Granted, but as soon as you fly in US airspace, they send 20 missiles after you.

I wish for a lego minefield.

[Shonisaurus]

Granted but the Lego minefield is mined from antipersonnel mines.

I would like to be as resistant as Venom and live as a symbiosis with the right human being.

[Lizerd]

Granted, but your doing to have to live with a crusty neck beard.

I wish for the duolingo bird to return my family.

[GojiraGuy1954]

Granted, but he takes you instead.

I wish for a story.

[Lizerd]

Granted, but in the process you will enrage a cassowary.

I wish for a nice pair of nail clippers.

[Silvanusaurus]

Granted, but all your nails fall off immediately and they never grow back.

I wish I had the power to open locked doors using only a small metal implement designed specifically for that purpose.

[Shark Toothed Lizard]

Granted, but it works like a USB cable and never works on the first two tries

I wish to see what Spinosaurus looked like from a safe distance to we can finally end the constant debate on what it looked like.

[Ravonium]

Granted, but it turns out to have a neck as (relatively) long as that of Tanystropheus, so it kills you anyway.

I wish...for an anime girlfriend (I'm really running out of wishes to make, so bear with me here.)

[Lizerd]

Granted, but as soon as people see what you have become your are quickly shot by horrified people.

I wish the end of the world.

[Shonisaurus]

Granted but that would mean the Last Judgment and no one would leave well.

I would like a scientific and hyper-realistic Palas elasmotherium of a size superior to its collecta counterpart.

[Shark Toothed Lizard]

Granted but it's made of china and breaks on the first day of receiving it.

I wish to have one of the limited edition Rebor Clover the Stegosaurus Hatchling

[Halichoeres]

Granted, but it turns out to be a thin candy shell resembling a dinosaur figure, and the inside is full of scorpions. Watch your fingers.

I wish for all meat to be grown in a lab.