Tyrannosaurus (Bite Club by Mattel)

Despite being the most popular of all dinosaurs, with multiple figures to its name released per year, everyone is still on the hunt for what they consider the “definitive” T. rex. Companies have tried to deliver it with mixed success. At various points over the last several years the title has been held by Safari, PNSO, Rebor, Beasts of the Mesozoic, PNSO again, and this year we have the long awaited Eofauna Tyrannosaurus hitting the scene. What collectors don’t realize, however, is that the undisputed definitive Tyrannosaurus was released last year, and it flew completely under the radar. Dear readers, prepare yourself for the king of kings.

In terms of accuracy this figure has it all. She is properly bulked up without any shrink wrapping whatsoever. She accurately possesses binocular vision, tiny arms with non-pronated hands, and no corncob textured skin. Her tail is lifted up and she’s able to stand steadily without oversized feet, a base, or support rod. Wilson, Kiss, Tusk, Cameron and all the others can now be relegated to the waste basket.

Alright, that’s enough BS, lets get on with the completely serious task of critically evaluating this plastic toy. This figure comes to us from Mattel and is part of their Bite Club range of figures. As you can tell, Bite Club toys are stylized, cute, chubby caricatures of the dinosaurs we see in the Jurassic Park films.

The Bite Club Tyrannosaurus is presented standing tall with her mouth agape, ready to devour the unfortunate lawyer that abandoned Tim and Lex to the T. rex and hid in the bathroom. If you were unable to get the Hammond Collection set depicting this scene then I guess this one will have to do.

Rexy looks absolutely absurd here, but adorable. Her head is larger than her entire body and her belly is so bloated that it practically drags on the ground. I don’t think this T. rex is running at 32 mph. Her brow is furrowed, and her mouth drawn up in a little smirk, she’s gleefully excited about her next meal. I suppose humans are a nice change of pace from the usual diet of goats, which she has clearly eaten a lot of.

Details are minimal, as is the style, but she has some large scales adorning her snout and brow ridges and plate-like scales running down the back of her head. Feature scales are present along the sides of the neck and scattered along her back. Fat rolls are abundant around the limbs, and I particularly enjoy the hot dog neck she’s got going on.

This chubby tyrant is painted brown with a lighter brown jaw and belly. Dark gray stripes are painted on her back, and she has dark gray eyeliner with some speckling around the eyes too. Her toenails are black, but her fingernails are not painted. The inside of her mouth is pink, and her teeth are white. Since the teeth are a separate piece from the rest of the figure there’s no sloppy paint application to worry about.

Looking briefly at her included snack, Donald Gennaro is presented sitting on a toilet atop a gray base that has a pebbly texture and is detailed with unpainted plant material. Gennaro is sporting his signature khaki shorts and shoes and his button-up shirt and tie. The tie is not painted, nor does his shirt have the gray vertical stripes we see on screen. He has a rightfully frightful expression on his face and while the detail is admirable there’s no paint on it. I certainly don’t think tiny features need to be painted on a tiny accessory figure like this, but his face does look odd when examined closely.

I consider the T. rex the best in this line, that’s why I saved it for last, but all the Bite Club figures are a lot of fun. I enjoy their presence in my home, even if I wouldn’t collect them myself (they belong to my wife). I like them significantly more than Funko Pop! dinosaurs with their massive heads, vacant black eyes, and spindly bodies. These are overall more expressive, dynamic, cleanly painted, and cuter. As of the time of this writing there are only three Bite Club figures but they’re all available on Amazon for about $10 apiece. I hope we see more of these in the future.