I feel compelled to start this review with a bit of a disclaimer and a warning. First off, I want to point out that this is not the type of stuff I normally collect. My tastes are far more refined than that. However, like other intrepid collectors I always end up with a certain amount of bycatch, stuff that comes along with what I actually want but I’m not actually targeting. Since I have a daughter now she thankfully puts that bycatch to use, she’s not as discerning as I am.
Now for the warning, a recent lot I purchased has provided me with a lot of really awful toy dinosaurs, all of them by Jasman, all of them I plan on reviewing. Why? Because I like to write about dinosaur toys and with the bulk of models that I collect having already been reviewed I’m left to scrape the barrel bottom. So, for the next six weeks you can expect to see these ugly toys grace our beautiful blog, and I apologize to those that will be offended. This is bound to be a journey of peril, a descent into madness. I’m not sure I’ll come out alright on the other end; my only comfort is that a few of you will enjoy the ride. I do this for you.
With that out of the way let’s talk about Jasman. I’ve actually reviewed one of their toys before, their Gallimimus back in 2012. I actually liked that toy, mostly because it was a Gallimimus which are just about as rare now as they were then. Jasman produced a number of toy dinosaurs back in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. They straddle that line between Chinasaurs and museum quality models like Safari or CollectA. I believe “sub-museum” is what they would be considered. A few of them aren’t bad, most are atrocious, and all of them are large with no regard for scale which is fine. Kids love big dinosaur toys.
I’m almost a page in and still haven’t even mentioned what I’m reviewing. It’s a Parasaurolophus, vaguely, you saw the pictures, and luckily there isn’t much to say about it. The Jasman Parasaurolophus stands about 9” tall and measures 15.5” from snout to tail. It was produced in 1997 making it 21 years old; I guess it’s vintage now, insert joke about my own age –here-.
This is far and away one of the strangest and ugliest Parasaurolophus reconstructions I’ve ever seen. It has a Spinosaurs-like sail running down its back which is a nod to the tall neural spines of the genus but I’ve never seen anything like it. The face and crest look like old beef jerky, the attempts at scales along the body look like cracked dried earth. The cracked skin coupled with an orange and yellow hide give it a sun-burnt appearance. All of that along with the overall posture and bizarre proportions just make the poor thing appear uncomfortable. The vacant stare on its melting face lets you know that it has seen some things, it deserves your pity.
Everything that could be anatomically wrong with a toy dinosaur is wrong on this one. Any attempt to address inaccuracies would result in a multi-page tome on a toy that doesn’t deserve the effort. You don’t want that, do you? I think the toy speaks for itself. I find no real redeeming qualities about this particular toy except that it might be so bad it’s good.
If all of the Jasman dinosaurs are as bad as this one then we’re in trouble, but thankfully some of them aren’t. They’re a strange assortment of toys and some may be tempted to collect them based on that reason alone, if you’re not one of those collectors than this is obviously an easy pass. One down, five to go, see ya’ll next week.
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Weird Fact: I spotted the Jasman Parasaurolophus in the music video of “Fireflies” by Owl City. Quite a reference there!
I had fun reading this review! Something not to look out for for a change!
Mirror, mirror on the wall … .Sorry, I still believe that the Schleich Replica-Saurus Ceratosaurus, whose.review is listed in the “contents” section, is the worst dino toy that I’ve ever seen (and I even own one). However, since you’ve promised more to come, I’ll fasten my seatbelt and stay tuned.
Yeah, that one is pretty bad too. Although I quite like the Allosaurus from the same line. That one really is so bad it’s good.
Well that was certainly one of the more entertaining reviews as of late. I look forward to the rest; may Gwangi have mercy on our souls!
Glad you enjoyed it. I couldn’t take this toy seriously enough to write a traditional kind of review. But dinosaur toys have no mercy, and nether do I. Bwahaha!